Concerning Distribution of Physical Goods
Please do not send me any packages containing physical goods (such as clothing, toys, controllers, etc.) without permission first.
Please do not send me any packages that may break, spill, or inadvertently open (such as food items, liquids, glass, etc.) without permission first.
Fan-art, while it is technically okay to send in the mail, must be cleared by me first, since I do like to keep my address private.
Permission must be granted to me before you may send the item. The best way to gain permission is through the Contact Form.
Unauthorized packages from anyone that has not gotten permission, will be smashed into pieces via sledgehammer. There are no exceptions to this rule...
Except clothing and toys. Unauthorized clothing and toys will be donated to charities.
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"People forget that unauthorized does not mean untrue and authorized does not mean authentic" - Kitty Kelley
Usually I would write an entire essay explaining why the thing I'm trying to discourage is harmful to real life, but I'll keep this short and sweet and straight to the point.
My personal information is meant to remain as private as possible. There have been a few cases where people have asked where I live, and I had even reached a point where I had to block my own address from my YouTube comments due to an online troll.
This private information extends to wherever I stay for college or at home, as there was a case where someone had mailed me a perishable item that expired 5 months later. (Forever immortalized as "The Potato Incident".) While this package had been sent to me by a family member, it proved that anyone could send me a package if they knew the details about where I would be staying.
Therefore, I began to crack down on the number of packages that I would receive at any time, and would only limit packages to be sent if they were from people I knew and trusted. Unfortunately, this system is not infallible.
On August 11th, 2022, we had discovered a package where there were blazers & dresses inside of it. The package had no return address, and after some research, we could not trace the package back to where it had been sent from. Because we could not identify where the packages were sent from, we decided to outright ban packages that were not pre-approved first.
On September 30th, 2022, I was sent another package. This package contained a perishable item that thankfully was not expired, but unfortunately spawned a new incident forever known as "The Pumpkin Incident" (aka "The Potato Incident 2: Pumpkin Boogaloo). After discovering that the system had a loophole where family members could send me items that were not important, and without prior notice, an update to the package policy had to be made to close this loophole.
To send me a physical item through the mail, please fill out the Contact Form on this website, asking me through my Twitter DMs, or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the following information:
Subject Line: Requesting Permission To Send <insert item that you are planning to send>
Description: [Please include a description of the item, what I can use the item for, and any additional information about the item.]
Signature: [Please include an email address for me to contact you if I accept your gift.]
If your gift is accepted, I will email you details of where you may send the package. You are not to disclose this information to other parties, and this approval is valid for one package only.
If your gift is not accepted, but I still receive the package, I will have no choice but to smash it into bits via sledgehammer, for safety reasons.
This policy was last updated on September 30th, 2022. This policy may be updated in the future, with proper notice given on the update.
If you have any other questions, please contact me at email@example.com